I didn’t realize therapy could help so much. We feel so much better every week. I only wish I didn’t wait so long.
The Love Connection
I was so scared that things would end when we first started coming. Thank you so much for helping us.
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I talk about Gottman to all my friends now. Why don’t they teach this stuff in school?
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All of my relationships have improved 😮 …which is so surprising to me!
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Did you know that you can actually predict relationships that will stay together based on how a conversation starts?
You can believe it! We have some great research on relationships that show how we talk to each other is so much more important that what we say. So you can fight all the time and still have a good relationship all because you are trying to work it out. So it’s not the fighting that’s the problem, it’s how we fight that needs some shifting. But don’t worry…that’s my jam. I love to teach strategies to normal everyday couples who want to do some hard work and get it right the first time.
And if you are more interested in prevention, not correcting problems, my educational premarital and newlywed couples program is the way to go.
Let’s see if you are dealing with some of the problems that clients have shared with me over the years. These are some of the hardest working couples I’ve ever met and you would never imagine they started out with such negative feelings.
👿 You find yourself having the same fights over and over again…like you really needed a repeat of this fight! Ugh! So you keep trying to explain to your partner why this hurts and they just don’t seem to get it. All your friends get it…so why not your lover?
😕 You remember the person you used to be and all the happy days before the problems started. Over time…you start to feel like you can barely remember those days and they fade and fade until you are left with a shadow of what used to be.
😯 You keep a mental record of all the litter boxes they did not scoop, the dishes left over night, or dirt in the corner of the room until you are the one who has to pick it up.
😥 You pick a friend to talk to when you really need support because you don’t really think your partner will listen to your feelings or just doesn’t understand why you’d be so upset. So you go to the people who meet your needs which sadly isn’t the person you are with.
So let’s just ditch all this misery and get a real evaluation of your relationship health. That’s right…you will be able to get an objective test to tell us if it’s a problem. You can view details of the Relationship Check-Up here.
Frequently Asked Questions
I′m new to marriage. How do I know it′s time to get therapy?
John Gottman found that most marriages that fail, wait for 6 years of being unhappy before they get help. This is usually way too late to benefit from the hard work that’s needed. I tend to recommend therapy as early as possible….even before problems really start. The reality is that we all want to feel like we can do it on our own. That’s why I became a leader for the 7 Principles for making marriage work which is helpful for all couples, but can really make newer couples prevent the mistakes that research shows can destroy a relationship. So prevention is best, but if you are having concerns…you may want to do a screening with a provider to see if you need it yet. I usually can tell a couple if it’s not needed within the first screening appointment or within the assessment phase.
Why can′t I remember the good times anymore?
The brain has a preference towards observing negative things very quickly. You need quicker attention to observe the bear that is about to eat you than you need for observing a pretty flower. So part of the reason you feel this way is that your brain is in overdrive with all the enormous negatives and then we just stop noticing that positives even exist. We can even go to the extent of misremembering our past…so your beautiful love story can start to fade and drift until you can’t remember that good times ever happened. But don’t worry….we can renew this in time.
Why do we keep having the same fights over and over like a song on repeat?
Ugh…..yeah I grew up with a family that did this so much and it’s totally exhausting for everyone involved. Having the same fights with no sense of resolution will make anyone want to head to the attorney’s office fast! The reason this happens is that we are constantly trying to protect ourselves from attacks. So instead of being open, raw, and curious with each other we get inside our heads and form a rebuttal to our argument we are so well rehearsed at. Why listen when you know exactly how it’s going to end? The problem here is that we need to have a different conversation with a different mindset. I will teach you the skills and be a coach in your argument. If we attempt video-based sessions and things don’t improve…Tampa locals will have access to a premium service: home-based visits. I will drive to your work, home, or other community setting for a fee and we will work in person. This hybrid model (video and face-to-face work) to therapy can help us add a bit of personal touch when things get hard.
Click the blue button above to start your work with me. You will choose a designated time just for new clients, but you will have more options for regular appointments. I meet with new clients in the morning before regular sessions are conducted. I will hear all requests for certain time frames but weekends and evenings are reserved for other programs and my own self care. 🙂
You’ll get an email back from me once I have approved your request entitled welcome email. Please complete a screening form (progress will not save so do this in one sitting) that is required 24 hours before your appointment. I will call and email if I have not received this. If you do not return calls or emails, your name will be deleted from my system and you will need to start your registration again.
Your free screening
Attend the screening over secure video. If you both can’t attend together, I will meet with each of you by yourselves or we can do video from different devices and locations. Your partner can be at work in a private space while you meet from work, home, or your car.
Forms & 1st Session
Complete your full forms without your partner’s help (this will be for my eyes only). Pay your first session fee (220 includes your relationship check up) and get your new set of forms back to me before we meet for your first 90 minute session. After we meet in person, you will be given further instructions for our next steps.