But I’m not angry!
Do people think you are angrier than you feel?
Feelings of anger and irritability can increase in the human body without our awareness that it has happened.
Your circle of friends may know you are angry when you believe that you are not feeling anything out of the ordinary. This occurs with other emotions such as depression and anxiety as well. It’s helpful to understand the connection between anger and the fight and flight system of the human body if you hope to gain control. Experiencing anger will cause you to feel justified in your perspective which causes a range of feeling from extreme anger (violence and aggression) to milder cases of feeling (frustration).
The fight and flight system of the body cues us to flee disaster or fight for our lives. Anger which is directed toward our friends, family or coworkers is not a survival skill. If you struggle with anger you ultimately are functioning out of this fight and flight system and may also be a quick reactor. When managed well, you may have great strengths that are suppressed out of habit to create change quickly. When we function out of fight and flight we have many stress hormones and chemicals that produce adrenaline and cortisol. These chemicals make us feel strong so that we can fight for our lives. This lowers our ability to concentrate and make focused decisions.
We have three options when learning to address feelings of anger: stuff the feelings, explode on a situation, or manage it. Most people want to think that they are managing, but this does not occur without specialized training. One example of a managing skill is using calming techniques in the moment you feel angry. This may include breathing techniques, biofeedback, yoga, and many more. If someone tells you that you are angry and you disagree then it might be time for an anger screening to verify if your friends are misguided or if you have some levels of anger that can shift with skills.
Register for your free 30 min. session to see if we are a good fit and to try out the video style of therapy. We will do the anger screening during this free appointment so you will know for sure if there is a problem.