Do people think you are angrier than you feel?
Feelings of anger and irritability can increase in the human body without our awareness that it has happened.
Many people in your circle of friends may know you are angry when you believe that you are not feeling anything out of the ordinary. This occurs with other emotions such as depression and anxiety as well. It’s helpful to understand the connection between anger and the fight and flight system of the human body if you hope to gain control. Most people who experience anger feel justified in their perspective which causes a range of feeling from extreme anger (violence and aggression) to milder cases of feeling (frustration).
The fight and flight system of the body cues us to flee disaster or fight for our lives. Anger which is directed toward our friends, family or coworkers is not a survival skill. If you struggle with anger you ultimately are functioning out of this fight and flight system and may also be a quick reactor. When managed well, you may have great strengths that are suppressed out of habit to create change quickly. When we function out of fight and flight we have many stress hormones and chemicals that produce adrenaline and cortisol. These chemicals make us feel strong so that we can fight for our lives. This lowers our ability to concentrate and make focused decisions.
We have three options when learning to address feelings of anger: stuff the feelings, explode on a situation, or manage it. Most people want to think that they are managing, but this does not occur without specialized training. One example of a managing skill is using calming techniques in the moment you feel angry. This may include breathing techniques, biofeedback, yoga, and many more. If someone tells you that you are angry and you disagree then it might be time for some anger management counseling or classes. Register for anger management by clicking here.